If you come over to my house right now, you will see this bag hanging on the hallway closet doorknob. Up until saturday I did not know what was in this bag. Last week I had told Josh that I really really wanted just a couple of hours to clean and de-clutter the house. Clutter and the build up of stuff is just a perpetuial pain in my rear. I can never quite break free from clutter. It seems like most days I can just barely get the basics done- dishes, wipe the table, and sweep. So needless to say extras (like the sock pile 2 feet tall on our dresser, the bags of clothes that Judah has already outgrown sitting in his room, and the months of mail sitting on the computer desk) don't even get a second glance. Well as I was decluttering the house Saturday I decided it was time to look in the bag. I did not find anything exciting, gross, or long lost. It was just a few things we brought home with us from the hospital after Judah was born......................wait for it..................SIX MONTHS AGO!!!!! Can you believe it??? This bag is in our only hallway in a small house, hanging on a door that I open EVERY. DARN. DAY!! And it has been sitting there without anyone looking in it  for half of a YEAR! Oh my, wow. Is all I can say about that. oh and guess what. On saturday, I did make that sock pile smaller, and went through all my mail. (The clothes are still on the floor in Judah's room) BUT there that bag still sits. oh well.  I do have a point besides what a terrible housekeeper I am.

     Lately I have been trying to be purposeful about the time I spend with my kids.  They are growing and changing so fast. Today the older two were napping and Judah wasn't quite ready for his yet. So I laid on the floor in his room with him playing. And even though I am a MOM first. I still have this voice in the back of my head saying "if he's happily playing - you could clean that bathroom or prep for dinner"  I actually have a hard time sitting and playing with my kids sometimes. I forget, at times, that my most important role right now is being mom to Grace, Gabe and Judah. That all the other things I spend time doing wont last or matter years from now. My job is to raise these three little people, and then do what I can do about everything else. But sometimes I still have to fight the urge to finish cleaning up instead of reading a book, or prepping dinner instead of cuddling my baby. As I was processing all of this today a verse popped into my head. " Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and that the master you are serving is Christ." Colossians 3:23-24  I assume that Jesus cares more about the way I speak to my children, then my dirty floors. More about spending time playing and creating memories then perfect dinners, and well that bag hanging in the hallway........maybe he would just walk past it too?



the anti-blog, and how pintrest and social media in general is ruining my life

Ok, to say that pintrest, as well as the whole gamatte of social, let's call it, "mom media"  is ruining my life may be a bit dramatic. Let's just say it's ruining my marriage.....................ok again, bit dramatic I know. So nothing is currently ruining my life, or my marriage. However, there is some bit of truth to the title of this post, which will eventually lead us to the title for which I am calling this blog, the anti-blog.
A few weeks ago we celebrated my son Gabe's third birthday. I LOVE LOVE birthdays. He is such a special boy and I am so proud of the little guy he is becoming. I show love by planning things and by baking. So I planned and I baked. I planned a train birthday for Gabe, train games, train cake, and train decorations.  And I baked. Cupcakes, cakes, bought color coordinating candy, and all his favorite party foods. The day went well enough. Gabe, I believe, felt very loved and special, and I have many good memories and pictures of his special day. Which at the end of the day is what I want, that smile on his face and him knowing he is so well loved. However, I am learning that there are times where as a special day or event or time is happening, I will be writing my blog post or facebook update in my head. (Does anyone else do this?) Which is NOT always a bad thing, but what I'm getting at is that sometimes I am going after those blog-worthy picture moments, and forgetting that the journey in which I am getting there, the moments that wont actually last forever on a blog are far more important, priceless even and then often missed. Here is the post I would normally have put up about Gabe's birthday party:

 Birthday Breakfast!

 Birthday Shirt (Thanks Grammie!)

 Birthday Train created by Daddy

"Coal Toss" or bean bag toss 

 Yay it's party time!

 Thanks Pinterest ;)

 Presents!

Friends and cheese puffs, life is good. 

This is what I would have normally posted along with some cute stories about how perfect the day was. And let me just say, there is nothing wrong with these kinds of posts- in fact I am going to continue to post pictures and stories of special events and memories. Blogging is an awesome way to document all these special things. What I am getting at, and taking a very long time to do so, is that the rest of this day, the parts not captured by pictures, was actually not that fun. I had planned this great party for Gabe, but somewhere in the planning forgot that I have THREE kids, one of whom is still a baby. The night before the party Josh, Uncle Garret, Carlee and I were working on cupcakes, candy and cakes till 11pm. And then the day of the party I spent most of the day cutting out paper decorations and arguing with my husband. (Not his fault at all either- we were all a bit overwhelmed and I was very unwilling to give up any aspect of my meticulously planned party). About an hour before the party I actually felt like I woke up from a pinterest induced coma and went "whoa! I can't believe I did this again!" I didnt even realize I was overdoing it until right then.  
     As I wrap up, I will finally get to the point. I say pinterest is ruining my life, and sometimes blogging too, because when we blog, we only show our very best. And when we peruse the meriad of blogs on pinterest we only see everybody else's perfect. And again, I'm ok with preserving good memories, as well as showcasing the great, cute, fun, supermom things we all do. I will continue to bragblog.......I just feel a need to also share the not-so-perfect. I feel a need to share this because it makes me feel bad when it appears as though EVERY other mother has got it all together WAY more than I do. On this blog you may see the snapshots and stories from a great day we had, something special, something cute. But I promise you will also see pictures of my messy house, my dinners of pbnj and perhaps even confessions to my not so perfectness as a woman, friend, mother and wife.
I will also note, that I don't want this blog to become a place of discouragment. I will not scoff at those of you who's floors are clean, cupcakes are pretty, and children are well behaved. I've been there too. I just want, maybe need, for myself, to break the illusion that anyone has it totally together, and that if we share our roses with our needs/faults and misteps we create a place to encourge each other. What do you think? Anyone with me?